Beatitudes of my life

Being grateful for everything in my life…. no matter what…

Football… and finding balance… January 4, 2012

Filed under: Football,Life Balance,Parenting — beatitudesofmylife @ 4:02 am

I’ve watched more college football this bowl season than any other in recent memory.  I think a lot has to do with the fact that my boys will sit in the same room with us and watch (yell, scream, criticize, etc) any game that’s on.  In the past, I’ve taken a book and headed off to bed… the games didn’t hold my interest and I just didn’t feel like watching the games any longer.  Recently, I’ve stayed in the room with them.  Listening to them talk that unmistakable “guy language”…. being grateful that they allow me to be a part, no matter how peripheral, in their enjoyment of this sport… enjoying their superstitions… just having them here with us.

I know that, all too soon, D will graduate from college and begin his life… separate from ours.  Two years later, it’ll be E’s turn to pull away and begin his own life as well.  As much as I always say that I want my boys to be “productive members of society”, grow up and have their own lives, I will truly mourn these days.  Having our boys home…. around us… with us… makes my heart happy.  I certainly don’t want them to graduate from college and never return home, but neither do I want them to graduate and then move back home without a plan.

It’s a fine line to walk as a parent.  Trying to push your chicks out of the nest at just the right time but allowing them to know that they’re always welcome home.  How do we do this the “right” way?  Is there a handbook for this stage of our lives as parents?

Having D at my alma mater has been a Godsend for me.  I knew where he was when he’d talk of places on campus… I knew enough people on or around campus that I felt comfortable when he chose a school that was, not only 3 hours away but out of state.  E’s first college experience was made easier for me because I had a wonderful HS friend who helped make the transition more tolerable.  Now that E’s only an hour away, it hardly feels difficult at all.

But if I’m being honest, having both boys away at college is a good thing for all of us.  I had a difficult time with the transition when E went 6 hours away for college.  It took some time for me to find a balance in my life after being so involved with the boys’ HS years.  My sports photography business kept me busy with HS volleyball and Navy football on the weekends with M, but it’s not just been those fall sports.  Both boys’ lacrosse programs have been supportive of me as a photographer… their friends seem to like my pictures and they allow me access that otherwise wouldn’t be available… and M’s been there to help me balance home and business as I add or delete photo events.  When I branched out and started volunteering at the winery, M again was very supportive… he even helped me when I was transitioning into a paid position there. I know I would have been lost without him as my partner… my other half…

We’re creating a life of our own, separate from our parenting world.  We still embrace the boys anytime they want to come home, but we also rejoice when they return to their lives at college.  Maybe that’s where the growth comes in… and the balance…

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One Response to “Football… and finding balance…”

  1. Thanks for sharing! I am a mom to three boys – the oldest a senior in high school. You give me a glimpse of my future:). I do love those moments when they let me into their world a little bit -even if only to observe! There is something special about being a mom to boys.
    It looks like you are just getting started in blogging – I hope you enjoy it as much as I have:)!


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